Breakdown during meditation

Meditation is a powerful thing your spirit and physical body can have some major reactions. This is great for me, who doesn’t love instant results. It didn’t instantly change anything about me. To feel something real, bring out emotions or show the truth about yourself is so powerful.

The first time I tried meditation I was in therapy. I couldn’t get out of my head and my therapist wanted to give me a tool to help. I laid back and she started doing guided imagery meditation.

She walked me through some breathing just to first try and relax me. I really struggle at first, I couldn’t stop my mind. I’m thinking this won’t work. Then before I knew it I was breathing how she asked and I could feel my body responding to what she is saying. From my head to my toes I finally relax.

The thoughts would still come back but, it become easier to push them away. She lead me to imagine sitting on the most comfortable couch. The more I would relax the further I would sink into the couch. As I sank I did relax in my mind. As I sunk as far as I could in the couch she asked me to lift myself up.

This was supposed to lead me to floating in the sky free of worry. This was not the case for me. I did float in the sky however, it was not all of me. Only part of me let’s say my spirit was able to leave the couch and float into the sky. I just watched my lifeless body still stuck in the couch. I instantly was brought to tears. This is how bad I was without realizing it.

I was so tense and full of anxiety I couldn’t fully relax. I couldn’t let go and be free. As my therapist brought me back out of meditating I am in tears. It was heartbreaking to watch myself. I told her I didn’t think it worked.

She said the opposite it worked perfect. I experienced something powerful and I saw what I needed to see. I now fully understand where I am at and where I want to be. Sometimes it is really hard to fully understand where you are physically or emotionally. I knew I needed help which is why I was in therapy. That vision really helped me understand more.

Years later now I am much better. Anxiety never really fully goes away. You learn how to manage it live with it. I changed almost every aspect of my life for the better.

When my mind is getting the best of me at night. I go online and search meditation for sleep. They have mediation for any issue you are having. There are quick ones for if you are panicking in the middle of the day. There are so many ways to help manage your life for the better.

Find what makes you feel stronger. Whether it is mediation, yoga, exercise or a combination do it. Don’t let anyone tell you it is silly or won’t work. What won’t work is doing nothing! You are stronger than you think and you got this. Take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other and see how far you can go.

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