Music is my daily therapy. No matter what emotions I’m going through there is a song for it. I’m lucky enough to get to listen to music throughout my day at work.
I started out my day really pissed off. No real reason I was tired but, that isn’t a new thing. I decided to start my day with some feel good music.
I work through the nothingness I was pissed about and I move to my next genre and play some alternative. I’m in a good groove at work taking calls, putting in orders and quotes and then bam.
Grateful Dead comes on, every time I hear them I think of my Step dad Mike. He has been passed for some time now and this was his music. There is a Grateful Dead sticker on the door at my house and my girls are always counting the bears. It always makes me smile, he would have loved seeing that.
This music makes me think of summer time, he would be outside blaring Grateful Dead or the oldest country music he could find. BBQing while smoking his smokes and drinking some beer. He would just be sitting back sharing a little of his beer with my dog Rufus, as I yell at him for it. I never thought I would miss those moments so much.
He would make my then teenage self sit outside and monitor him while he took on dangerous tasks. Like climbing a 100 year old wooden latter to cut dead limbs down from our trees. “Just sit there and call 911 if I fall out of this damn tree”
I would get so mad at him and my mom for waking me up at the crack of dawn so go fishing. I don’t fish nor did I like getting up early. Also I was forced to in his words “bum around.” Endless day of driving to no where really.
So here I am crying at my desk at work because Grateful dead came on. Music is a powerful thing. I think maybe he was watching over me today. Just checking in to see if he needs to yell at me for being a dumba**.
My mom will not like that I’m cursing in this but there is no talking about Mike without a little cursing. I mean we had a cat that he named damn it because he was always running under our feet.
He was the dad I always needed and I wish he could have been around longer. So when your parents are driving you crazy just remember they may not always be around. You will miss them driving you crazy, I know I do. I’m glad I was dragged around to make memories with my family. Sometimes the perfect music comes on to remind you of what you are missing.