My girls are my peace

My children are the cause of my insanity and my peace. I know that might sound crazy but, it is so true. There are times when my kids drive me crazy, when they are not listening and acting wild. It seems as soon as I am about to lose it one of them does the sweetest thing and all the bad is eased.

I recently was thankful for Hannah my 3 year old. It was one of those crazy nights with my girls. They were super hyper not listening running around like a bunch of wild bulls. I put them to bed and just tried to relax. As I try to sleep myself I keep getting woke up. Hannah wakes up screaming with a bad dream. Hailey had to go to the bathroom around midnight, then woke up at 2am and found her tablet and was playing games. I went in her room and asked what she was doing. She said ” well mommy you left it in here.” AHHH at this point I am so tired and just done. I just want to get some sleep, you wouldn’t think it would be so hard.

Finally when no one is screaming or having to go potty everything is still and quiet. Everything that is except my brain. My mind would not stop running, I was thinking and stressing about things for no reason. Started with the dentist, when did the girls go last? Are they overdue to go? When did they last get vaccines? I think they are good I need to call all their doctors tomorrow and make sure I’m not behind. I am probably totally behind on something. Will they judge me “oh there is Hailey and Hannah’s mom always running behind.”

My mind goes on like this for about an hour. I am crying at this point because I don’t know how to make it stop. I tried to get up and get a drink, deep breathing even some mediation music. Nothing is working and I am only getting worse. Then I hear Hannah get up and get into bed with me. As I am about to kick her out to get back into her own bed she starts rubbing my head. She is softly rubbing my hair and face and it instantly relaxed me. She kept doing this and then gave me a sweet little kiss on my forehead and told me everything was okay and that she loved me. Honestly, I passed out while she was doing this.

After I thought nothing in the world would calm me down, all it took was some love from my 3 year old. Having a night of me correcting and yelling at them all night she still loves me so much. I really don’t know what I would do with out my girls. If anyone else is having a night of anxiety, take a deep a breath and go struggle with your kids. As much as they drive you crazy the love is always there.

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